Okay, so Melbourne is typically a very..how should I say it…inconsistent sort of place in terms of weather. Yesterday was proof, when a relatively warm and sunny day turned into a city of darkness, flooding, crazy winds, and hailstones the size of tennis balls. Literally. I honestly thought that they would shatter a window in my house or something. Eeep! Anyway, moving right along..
Today is one of those ‘bottomless’ pit days some of you may know very well. I don’t know why they come about, I don’t know where they come from, but they do most certainly exist and what can you do on days like these but honour your hunger, right?!
Saturday night’s dinner – pita pizza with mushies, spinach leaves, yellow capsicum, red onion, and the measly remainders of a cherry tomato from our garden. A sprinkle of mozarella and feta cheese and some oregano finished off this fabulous (and easy!) pizza
Although I have in fact been feeding my body when it asks for it, I am not going to deny that there is some guilt associated with my doing so. ‘Oh, but you’re too short. You can’t be eating like this’. ‘Feel that? That’s your shorts getting tighter’. ‘You’ve finished gaining weight. You shouldn’t be eating like this’, and so on and so forth. But you know what? Those thoughts are exhausting, and checking my body every few minutes to see if my thighs/upper arms/legs are any bigger is exhausting. I’m obviously ravenous for some reason, and I see this as my body speaking to me. If my body could speak, I have a feeling it would be saying something along the lines of ‘feeeed me Tina! Food is goooood!’. And if I happen to gain weight, then obviously my body hasn’t found its set point. I’m hesitant to gain any more weight, but I know I need to let this go. My BMI is nowhere near close to overweight. In fact, it’s right at the bottom of the healthy scale. And My highest weight was at a BMI of 21 years ago and apparently there was nothing ‘fat’ (I hate that word, I really do) about me. So there you go.
Bagel – one side spread with hummus, and the other side spread with sweet potato and cashew dip. It looks pretty damn unappetising, but there ain’t nothing unappetising about the taste, I promise 🙂
I know that this lingering anxiety about eating more than usual won’t go away instantly, but I do look forward to the day where I don’t have to second guess every second thing I put into my mouth. I remember the days where I was a lot younger, the pre-ED days. If I was hungry, I would go and get something to eat. Simple. No matter whether it was outside of a meal time or not. The sensation of hunger came about, I ate something, and then that was that.
Tofu marinated with peanut satay sauce, carrots with hummus, and roast potatoes roasted with carrots and some random peas. Oh, and how could I forget the hot sauce I had to eat my tofu with? Hot sauce = love!
I have faith that I will eventually get to that stage. Who knows, it may take months, it may even take a years..but there’s something that tells me I can get back where I was before all of this happened. I mean, I spent a good 13 years of my life intuitively eating, there’s no reason I can’t relearn that. And I will. I know it. 🙂
Here’s to feeding those hungry tummies!
‘Nana with and cinnamon sunflower seed butter (current addiction..ORGASMIC)
How do you deal with bottomless pit days?
Love to all!
Nb – I don’t post a full days eats, at least I haven’t yet. I’m just posting random pictures of food I’ve eaten for the past two days or so. Just to clarify. 🙂